Kissing on the first date and modern day courting

Historically it was more respectable for girls/women to play hard to get, the guy would spend weeks or even months trying to court the girl. Buying her gifts and giving her all sorts of attention before she even considered even going out with him. When a guy finally got the girl to go out with him it was another story getting her to kiss you and get all touchy and cosy.

I am certain there were girls who were easy and took less effort to get, and I am pretty sure they were frowned upon, just like girls who asked guys out on dates were frowned upon. It was always the guys job to do the chasing, but what now if the girl liked the guy and the guy was clueless...what was the girl to do? There have always been flaws with the old system of doing things.

Now fast forward to the future which is now ofcourse. It is still frowned upon for girls to ask guys out but it is a common occurrence now. Some of us guys are shy and need the girl to make the first move, whilst others like myself are more like predators and we don't like being the prey. I think it makes me value the girl less if she comes to me because most of the time it is not the girl you are into or attracted to that asks you out or tells you she has feelings for you. It would be a different story if it were an attractive girl who saw that you were too slow and you two had some chemistry before she asks you out.

There are always more subtle ways to get a guy to notice you such as hinting even though guys do not always pick up on it. Sometimes we do pick up on it but we are not really sure and we don't want to do something that might be embarrassing if we are wrong, or we don't do anything about it because we do not feel the same way and don't want to hurt the girl.

In addiction to who asks who out there is the problem of the first kiss and when you should kiss someone for the first time. In my experience I have found that its easy to kiss someone the first time you meet them if its at some sort of club. You have to find some sort of way to make it feel comfortable for them to kiss you as if you are not just a stranger, that has a lot to do with game (I will post about that at a later stage). Kissing someone on the first date or first time you meet them during night conditions is much easier than during a formal date because most girls don't want to seem like they are easy even if they wanted to kiss you.

If you meet someone at some occasion it is not uncommon for you guys to hit it off but the probability of you kissing is higher on a second meeting, because than they feel like they know you and you not a stranger and they don't feel cheap and easy. The whole thing of kissing, making out on the first date is linked often to one night stand especially when it comes to club situation. I have no idea whether, it is the night, lights, music, alcohol that makes those conditions more sexual and high paced  or maybe its the combination of all those elements.

To end this I would like to that some things have changed a lot when it comes to getting girls and when your first kiss is but certain elements of original courtship are still in place. You need to be confident and smooth and well presented, a guy with no game in the past would still be unsuccessful today. The game has not changed, only conditions have changed.

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Things that are frowned upon yet so many people engage in them

I am beginning to wonder if people are really against such things or they pretend to be in public where they think being against such things is a normal. If many people do the things that are frowned upon doesn't that now mean people are for such behaviour or couldn't care less anymore....so here is a list of 5 things lots of people do but were or are frowned upon.

image by tOzz

• Multiple sexual partners

  - this could be in many forms for example being in a polygamous marriage, cheating on your partner, or being with multiple persons without being serious with any of them. Well men have been doing it for ages and sure women have too but men more openly. It is seen as a worse offence if a female is engaged with multiple partners. There is a growing number of couples who have group sex and other such taboo sexual acts with multiple partners as well.

•   older women with a younger man

  - this seems like the rise of the milf. A lot of older women are taking care of themselves and getting cosmetic surgery done to look younger and those who are recently divorced are engaging in relationships of a sexual nature with younger men. The norm has always been older guy younger female but the females are getting in on the action.



image by Evgeni Dinev

• Not having a religion

  - this has historically been frowned upon, with people saying you will go to hell and treating you like a no gooder just because you don't believe in their religion. In recent years however there has been a rise in non-believers or atheist people. I don't know whether its because of a more proof based belief in science or society now being generally more accepting.



image by digitalart

• Homosexuality

  - It used to be the worst things you could possibly be was to be gay but now because of media and a change in laws to protect gay people in a lot of countries, it is easier for gay people to come out of the closet. I have never seen so many gay people in my life before these last two years I have lived in Cape town. Gay people are generally more accepted now and are the top designers in the fashion world and people look to them for advice. Gay marriages are even legal in some countries now.   



image by Graur Codrin

• Smoking weed

  - Smoking in public is banned here in South Africa but people do it anyways without fear because the cops do it too. Its a pretty useless law which no one enforces but the big problem is not just smoking but the smoking of dagga or marijuana or weed, whatever its called where you are from. It seems it has become accepted because a lot of people smoke it openly and it is common for university students to experiment at least once with weed. 

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